Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
