Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Randomize
