it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
