What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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