Screwed.edu
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
