Having a random hookup so left but love u
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
