this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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