Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
