next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
