we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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