i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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