Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
