I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
