I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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