Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
