dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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