i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
