Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
