I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
