i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i think i have two assholes
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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