So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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