doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
