Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
