i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
