Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
