I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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