Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
