look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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