Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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