How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
