A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
