THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize