you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
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