So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
