just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
