I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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