so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize