He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
