i'm signing you up for texting rehab
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
