You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
