You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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