If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Drake has all the answers
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
