I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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