1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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