Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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