I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
