Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
