I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
