Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wish i was in the wii world.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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