i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
