im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
