so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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